A Hoopaholic in Verklemptitude

Q: Who is Huānying Boyuan Zhang and why is he significant?

Huānying Boyuan Zhang is a newly recruited player who is expected to bring significant talent to Pat Kelsey's team, enhancing their competitiveness.

Q: What has Pat Kelsey accomplished this offseason?

Pat Kelsey has made several strategic moves, including securing under-the-radar recruits like Huānying Boyuan Zhang, which have excited fans and analysts alike.

Q: What does the term 'kvelling' mean in the context of this article?

'Kvelling' refers to expressing joy or pride, often used in a humorous context, as seen in the comparison to pop culture moments involving Barbra Streisand.

When awakening to the news, my inner Linda Richman (Mike Myers) kicked in.

Like the day she and her bestie Liz Rosenberg (Madonna) were kvelling about all matters Streisand and then were visited by Barbra herself during an episode of “Coffee Talk.” Vapors ensued.

Pat Kelsey, who has done more than any reasonable diehard could have possibly hoped for so far in this off season, bagged another under the radar sleeper.

Huānying Boyuan Zhang.

Sturdy. SF. Another southpaw, meaning the Cards will be able to attack from the Brooklyn side. Shooter with both a long range and pull up game, described by one recruiting guru as “lethal.” Under the radar because he didn’t play on the AAU circuit last summer while still in his home country.

He joins our recent kaabo to Nigerian native, Obinna Ekezie Jr., and our bienvenido to Spaniard Alvaro Folgueiras, and — draft pending — bienvenue to Congolese big Flory Bidunga. (Who measured shorter than expected 6-7 3/4 at the Combine.)*

*Wes Unseld wasn’t that tall.

Given the multi-continental UN-ish nature of the new roster, do we refer to the Cards’ mentor as Secretary General Kelsey?

Which is not to give short shrift to the surfeit of incoming ballin’ Americans. Jackson Shelstad, Gabe Dynes, Isaac Ellis, Karter Knox, De’Shayne Montgomery.

PK has outCalibrated Calipari, out-catachismed a Pope, went Red Auerbach in harvesting next year’s guys.

He’s got this gobsmacked Cardinal hoopaholic swimming in wonderment and wondering.

Louisville had but one returning player — Adrian Wooley — and the redshirted question mark London Johnson.

And now, just weeks later, there exists what appears to be a well constructed bounty of Louisville Cardinal Basketball Squad.

Did PK take off a day recruiting to slip off to Oak Island and snag the treasure to finance this?

We of course in early May haven’t the slightest idea if these guys will fit together, and how much the team will succeed?

Best players don’t necessarily make the best teams.

Best teams don’t necessarily always succeed.

How many top seeds have faltered? How many clearly best teams in the land didn’t prevail on the last day of the season? Phi Slamma Jama twice in a row. Jerry Lucas’s Ohio State Buckeyes twice in a row. The Hoyas against ‘Nova.

A bunch of others.

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut . . .

. . . this Cardinal fan can legitimately ask no more of Sea Change Season than what’s already gone down.,

* * * * *

Obsessed, I actually watched a podcast at Field of 68 with ubiquitous Joe Tipton and a Rivals guy in a chat about Zhang and the Cardinals.

They were figuratively shaking their heads in awe, effusive in their praise. Both of the Cards latest get. And how the pieces PK has inked should fit together.

That thumping you hear might be my heart in full verklemptitude.

* * * * *

I’m obviously not alone.

Fans similarly addicted are already offering opinions. I’d just make this not so humble suggestion: Watch tapes of these kids’ games first. Just sayin’.

Nicknames are being bandied about.

Hope for the continued resurgence of University of Louisville basketball soars.

— c d kaplan