Brewers 3, Twins 2: Guess what happened, guess which team blew a late lead

2: Easier go-round for Ryan this inning. The Ball Talc must finally be working.

Also easy in Coleman Crow’s second inning. Here’s the ascending order in which I hate the movies of writer/director Cameron Crowe. Almost Famous, Say Anything, We Bought a Zoo, Elizabethtown, Aloha, Singles, Jerry Maguire, Vanilla Sky. I actually haven’t seen four of these but I’m ranking them by how much I hate the plot outlines. I hate Cameron Crowe. A friend told me Almost Famous was OK but I think they’re trying to make me suffer after I made them watch In the Loop and it pissed ‘em off. Well, it’s SUPPOSED to piss you off!

3: Another good inning for Ryan. I like how GameDay foretells the Future:

I mean, it’s currently still light out in St. Paul, but the sun will go down in 105 minutes or so. GameDay KNOWS.

Coleman Crow is throwing a perfect game. This pisses me off.

4: A leadoff Jake Bauers single; he steals second. Ryan stops him from scoring. As in, he doesn’t allow an RBI. Not that he stands in front of home plate as Bauers is running from third and goes “You shall not pass!” Although that would be good.

Hey, Ryan Jeffers breaks up the perfecto! A one-out single. Which probably could have also been ruled an error, but what the hey. We’ll take it. Does he score? This is a journey of a thousand miles, folks, you’ve got to make the little steps before you can make the big ones. In other words no, he doesn’t score.

5: David Hamilton takes a one-out walk (on a rare missed ABS challenge by Ryan Jeffers) and is caught stealing for out #3. Nice job, Joe.

Would you like a bagel recipe? Here is a bagel recipe. Skip the whole part about putting the dough in the fridge. After the bagels are shaped into rounds, I cover them with a damp cloth for exactly one hour. Then I boil them for 30 seconds on each side before they go in the oven. I usually make 7 at a time and freeze 4 or 5 of them.

Why a bagel recipe? Because I’m making bagels. Why am I making bagels? Because after you’ve lived in either New York or Los Angeles, you DEMAND good bagels, and no place in the Twin Cities has them.

Why am I writing about bagels? Because the Twins’ offense sucks. Kody Klobberin’ Klemens gets HBP, and with two outs Ryan Kreidler singles him over to third… then gets thrown out by a mile trying to steal second. Booooo. Make bagels, not basepath outs.

6: According to Dan Gladden on radio, Kreidler missed a sign. He was supposed to stop about halfway, try to draw a throw and get into a rundown so Clemens could scamper home. Oops. No bagels for you Kreidler.

Hey, a leadoff single for Minnesota! James Outman belying his name for once! Austin Martin with a single; it confuses Outman for a bit, but he takes third anyways. Coleman “Ben Sheets” Crow leaves the game. Good news, except the Brewers’ beats bullpen guys are quite good — and none pitched in last night’s 7-1 Brewers victory.

LHP Aaron Ashby gets about the ideal result; a Brooks Lee GIDP. At least it’s tied 1-1

7: Taylor Rogers in for the Twins (Ryan had 90 pitches). One-out weak singles to Andrew Vaughn and Sal Frelick. Luis Rengifo BARELY beats out the back end of a GIDP. (The umps called him out at first; Milwaukee made the successful challenge.) Rogers still gets out of it on an itty-bitty grounder by David Hamilton.

All right! Twins POINTS! A one-out single (maybe error) from Luke Keaschall where Jake Bauers boots the ball. Then a solid single from Klobberin’ Kody, and another by long-lost Royce Lewis to score Keaschall. (For some da*n reason Clemens gets himself out in a rundown between second and third.)

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A wild pitch puts runners on second and third, but James Outman can’t knock them in. It’s Twins Bullpen Confidence Is With Us All time! Better half of Duluth/Superior 2-1

8: Fu***ng youngster nobody Andrew Morris in to pitch? GREAT. Right off the bat, an infield single for Chourio. He runs on the 3-2 pitch and takes third on the Brice Turang single. THIS EFFING BULLPEN. Turang steals second. Infield in.

Contreras hits it sharply to short and Chourio heads back to third; Lee throes it to Lewis and Royce tags Chourio out.

But the umps rule that Lewis blocked the plate with his foot! They give Milwaukee the run.

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Bauers doubles home another. Morris gets two outs, and Anthony “He’s Bad” Banda gets a lucky out hit RIGHT at Outman, but the damage is done, and the f***in’ bullpen sucks again.

Brewers tough pitcher Abner Uribe (no relation to former ChiSox infielder Juan) gives up a one-out Lee single and Jeffers walks, but induces a Josh Bell GIDP to continue the Twins’ inevitable loss. ‘Sconnies 3-2

9: Banda still in. A nice play by Clemens! A one-out grounder to short, and Lee throws it a bit too high to first. Clemens jumps, grabs it, and tags pinch-hitter Joey Ortiz on his way down. Well done, son of Rog. Yoendrys Gómez comes in to K Chourio for the final out.

Radio tells us the Twins have not won a game trailing by one in the ninth so far this year.

Trevor Megill in to pitch for Milwaukee. He was a Twin in 2022. Master Dealer Derek Falvey traded him to the Brewers for a PTBNL (turned out to be Taylor Floyd, a righty reliever now with the Reds’ organization in AA).

Keaschall grounds out, Clemens has an easy flyout, Lewis strikeout. Thanks Falvey! Twins lose

Studs: Joe Ryan, and that’s it. (Nice plays by Lee, Lewis, and Martin, and that good tag by Clemens, though.) Duds: Josh Bell (0-4), Derek Falvey for trading Megill for bupkis and setting up yet another of what’s gonna be a LONG season of Twins’ bullpen game blows.

Happy birthdays to Kody Clemens (30th), Brian Dozier (39th) and Justin Morneau (45th).

COTG goes to Naginskiinnortheast for “I know it’s suboptimal but id rather not see freshness back on the mound… gotta preserve him especially after the recent injury scare.” (“Freshness” meaning Captain Ball Talc Ryan.)

Thanks to everyone who participated in the GT on a night where, on radio at least, it practically sounded like there were more Twins fans here than at Target Field.

Tomorrow’s game is at 6:10 Central, and features Brewers RHP Logan Henderson against our own Connor Prielipp. Catch ya next time!