England World Cup winner Ellie Kildunne lifts lid on her body dysmorphia battle during lockdown

Ellie Kildunne has spoken about her struggle with body dysmoprhia (Getty)

England rugby star Ellie Kildunne has revealed her personal struggle with body dysmorphia during the coronavirus lockdown, a period that saw her develop disordered eating and unhealthy weight loss.

The 26-year-old, who was instrumental in the Red Roses’ World Cup victory last year, scoring five tries including a stunning solo effort in the 33-13 final win against Canada at a sold-out Twickenham, spoke candidly about her experience.

"I could probably see myself getting a little bit smaller, but then was still trying to chase being smaller on top of that," Kildunne told BBC Sport, explaining the isolation of the pandemic. "I wasn’t in that team environment with physios all the time, or my team-mates."

She described the deceptive nature of her condition, adding, "and body dysmorphia is such a funny thing, because I would have been small but I would see myself as bigger in the mirror."

Kildunne won the World Cup with England last year (PA Wire)

Reflecting on that time, she said, "It seems really stupid now, and I look back on it – I don’t know why I did it. But I just ended up having a terrible relationship with food."

Kildunne, who was part of Great Britain’s sevens squad training for the postponed 2020 Olympics, also highlighted the conflicting perceptions of her physique.

"In the rugby world, I’m considered small, but in my world outside rugby, I was considered big, so I never really had that place where I felt comfortable, that I fit in."

Her breakthrough came during a conversation with England physio Emily Ross, where she broke down in tears.

"I knew I had a problem but I never wanted to admit it and I think admitting it made it a problem," she said, emphasising the power of speaking out. "It wasn’t something that I was even trying to stop. But as soon as you say something out loud to somebody that creates accountability."

The Harlequins full-back, crowned World Player of the Year in 2024 and runner-up for last year’s BBC Sports Personality of the Year, continues to excel, scoring in England’s 33-12 Six Nations victory over Ireland last Saturday. While acknowledging her progress, Kildunne remains vigilant.

"I wouldn’t say I’ve got a bad relationship with food now," she stated, "But it’s something that you’ve always got to be conscious of because I know that I’ve got those habits somewhere. I just need to make sure they don’t come up."