ESPN's 'first' mom shares for parents how she holds it all together

Shae Cornette and her husband, Jordan, and kids attend the 2026 Big Ten Men's Basketball Tournament.

Shae Cornette, 40, shared details of how she and Jordan handle their chaotic lives as sportscasters and sports parents with an eye on helping us navigating ours. They’re really not all that dissimilar.

“I need to learn to be quiet,” she says. “That's the problem.”

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On a typical day when she and her husband are both in town, Shae is out the door between 5:30 and 5:45 a.m.

When she reaches ESPN’s studios in lower Manhattan, she makes calls, preps for her show and hosts it. She is home in the afternoon. Jordan, who has gotten them up and off to school, usually then leaves for work.

“When I know there's not sporting events or people can't reach me, my phone is away,” she says. “I really try and focus on my kids and my husband and my life between the hours of 3 and 8. I try to pour into them as much as I possibly can. That's not some groundbreaking tip or trick, but it's easier said than done. We are glued to these things and to  glue them to something else for a little bit, it really makes your life feel a little bit lighter.”

Still, she feels that pang of what she calls “mom guilt.”

Shae Cornette hosts ESPN's "First Take," which airs at 10 a.m. ET weekdays.

“I had to go to Vegas last week for WrestleMania, so it took me out of the mix for a couple of days on a West Coast swing, but I really try to be there for as much as I possibly can because I can't wake up with them. If they can't see me first thing in the morning, they should see me all the other times that I’m possibly around.

“They have to come first. I know I have this big, great job and I love it. I love every minute of it. But I love them more.”

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Let’s get back to that part about being quiet. Shae grew up an avid fan of sports in Chicago. Jordan lived them, playing basketball for four years at Notre Dame, starting most of the team’s games his last two years from 2003 to 2005.

As Shae understands it, Jordan’s dad didn’t miss a game at Notre Dame. Her mother-in-law says she got on her son if she thought he didn’t play well.

Shae isn’t there yet with Joey, named after Jordan’s late brother who played college basketball at Butler. Basketball was their family’s life.

Today, at 6-foot-9, Jordan casts a long shadow.

“Jordan looks athletic, right?” she says. “He's a big guy with a big stature. And at basketball, people are coming over to him. It’s pressure on Joey. He’s 5 years old. That’s just the way Jordan looks but I feel terrible. So I need to sit there and be like, ‘Joey, go after the ball,’ but I'm trying not to put pressure on him. But it's hard. I need to learn to just sit there and sit on my hands, but I'm going to try forever not to put that kind of pressure on him, but it is really hard to do.

“Would I absolutely love it if he had the same passion for hoops as my husband and I do? Of course. And I have a feeling both my kids are going to be pretty tall. But it's more about what it brings to children, I think, than anything else.”

When she steps into the Little League world, though, she also starts to feel herself getting ramped up.

“It is so intense,” she says. “I'm like, ‘Did I even get the right glove? I’m not sure he's a righty or a lefty yet.’ I bought both hands. He writes left, throws right. I don't know what's going on. I'm trying to determine everything. I feel like my wheels are always turning and I'm trying not to let my kids see that.”

Find 'regimented accountability' in whatever you do

Shae also grew up in dance, which reinforces the many different movements we want our kids to make to establish their physical literacy. It’s a healthy precursor to neuromuscular training, which that can help prevent injuries like ACL tears when kids are older.

“Competitive dance is very different from sports in a few different ways, but it's still the same kind of regimented accountability,” she says.“Everyone's got to have a hobby and I tell that to my kids. I don't care what it is, but we're not going to sit around playing video games. Dance was my hobby. Basketball was Jordan's. Find a lane.

“I think sports helps kids grow up in a way that I can appreciate. Their structure, you learn how to control your body, you understand deadlines and timing and there's time management involved. There's a coaching aspect to it. I can appreciate the things that being part of a team helps kids develop into. And I feel like that's more the goal.”

As parents of athletes, we can heighten the accountability as they get older and find something they love to do. Jordan’s son, Carter (Shae’s stepson), is headed to Alabama in the fall on a swimming scholarship. She watches how her husband doesn’t apply pressure to Carter in terms of his times as much as with the work his son puts in to achieve them.

“Do you feel like you absolutely tried your hardest? Did you prep enough for this meet?” Shae says, explaining her husband’s thought process. “Was your mind all there? This week, where you really focused or was there this, that and the other thing? Jordan knows, ‘Hey, I missed every spring break. I don't feel sorry if you have to miss a party because you’ve got to train or go to a meet or travel or whatever.’ He can relate to him in a different way where sometimes I am the soft one …

“These are the demands that come with it. If you want to be talked about as one of the best swimmers in the state, you’ve gotta abide by these rules.”

'Parent yourself,' at sports events or otherwise

Having a commitment to something also helps us stay organized.

“I'm not perfect at this stuff, but I really try to plan ahead,” she says. “I make lunches the night before. I lay out clothes for school the night before, clothes for myself. I feel like I parent myself, too. I’m laying out my shoes, laying out their shoes, packing my breakfast, packing their lunches. I've got a whole system because otherwise I wake up in a complete panic.

“So that's the only way I can do: The night before I go through a checklist. I'm a little psychotic. … Organized compartments help me. Their lunch boxes have organized compartments. My pantry has organized compartments of snacks. Not everyone can be this way, but it just helps me move at a faster pace.”

In the evenings, she will put on a game in the background and get everything ready, even having her car keys laid out. We can do the same the night before a game with our kids’ equipment. As they get older, have them prepare it themselves. It’s another way to see if they are dedicated.

When they show they love something, whatever it is, that’s when we can double down on helping them pursue it. For as moms know, we can always try to be present for them.

“I like to pride myself on trying to be a relatable human,” Cornette says. “Our challenges are hard. But I would say my biggest thing is I always try to put my kids first. My bosses know on their birthdays, I'm gonna take off. I want to wake up with my kids. Important events, I'm gonna focus on them, whether that's a holiday sing or picture day or whatever, first day of school, I'm hopefully going to be able to be there for them.

“Those are ground rules that I promised myself when I had kids that there's no wiggling the rules there.”

Sometimes we all just need to 'chill'

While her weekly life is about trying to stay a step ahead, her weekends, when they’re all not at sporting events, are about pulling back with her family.

They take their dog to the beach and run around or go to the park. They go out for dinner or hang out on their patio.

“We're just a normal family,” Shae Cornette says. “Because our lifestyles are pretty busy, when we're not busy, we want to chill, (have) less stimulation. Not the lights and cameras and a basketball arena. So that's usually our goal if we're both home at the same time with our kids.”

Shae Cornette hosts ESPN's "First Take."

If either she or Jordan has to go to the NBA Finals for work,she says, they will sit down and figure out which days are important to be there. If they both have to be there, they will improvise, something moms do every day.

“We'll juggle it and talk to our employers,” she says. “We can't both be gone for two weeks. We did that with the Super Bowl. He had some meetings in San Francisco, and I'm like, OK, well, this is going to be our couples trip.

“Unfortunately, I feel like we haven't been on a true vacation in a long time because our jobs take us to other places and we utilize work trips as vacations because that's just how our family is going to have to operate while they're little.

“I'm not going to lie to you and say I have it all together every single day. It's a little bit of a rat race, but I feel like people with kids can understand that, working or not. It makes you resilient for sure.”

Borelli, aka Coach Steve, has been an editor and writer with USA TODAY since 1999. He spent 10 years coaching his two sons’ baseball and basketball teams. He and his wife, Colleen, are now sports parents for two high schoolers. His Coach Steve column is posted weekly. For his past columns, click here.

Got a question for Coach Steve you want answered in a column? Email him atsborelli@usatoday.com

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Mom, ESPN 'First Take' host Shae Cornette shows how she stays cool