Game 31: Seattle Mariners at Minnesota Twins

Three games and you’re out. | Michael Turner / MLB Photos via Getty Images

First Pitch: 12:40 PM
TV: Twins.TV
Radio: TIBN, WCCO 830, The Wolf 102.9 FM, Audacy App
Know Yo’ Foe: Lookout Landing

…the Twins suck.
…the Twins suck.

First game was a trouncing;
Second one was a rout;
Third game is on the way,
Stay and hear me out.
We got Taj upon the mound,
Buxton cranking blasts,
Then come RISP and the bullpen who
Mean despondence lasts.

We know the Twins suck lately,
Few relievers we can trust.
We know the Twins suck lately,
No excuse of shaking off the rust.

All that they’ve needed to do
Invest and pay guys.
But ownership tightened the screw;
That’s not wise.
(And no surprise.)

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
0 for a hundred:
The Twins suck.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, they have blundered:
The Twins suck.

That one week rather recent
Beating up on the stars,
Thought they’d be decent;
Now we’re left with scars.
Put a couple men on base,
Rally in its prime,
Swing and miss; they’re left in place
Every single time.

We know the Twins suck lately,
Feeble grounders in the clutch.
We know the Twins suck lately,
And it somehow doesn’t matter much.

All that we want them to do
Is invest and play well.
But nothing at all in our view
Will dispel
(Every one of these thoughts of hell.)

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
0 for a hundred:
The Twins suck.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, they have blundered: The Twins suck.