Hoopaholic’s Gazette: Expansion, Eligibility ++

Oh, yes we got trouble, trouble, trouble/ (Oh yes we got trouble here, we got big, big trouble)/ With a “T” (with a capital “T”)/ Gotta rhyme it with “P” (gotta rhyme with “P”)/ And that stands for pool (that stands for pool)

Oh yes we do.

And not just here in River City.

We’re talkin’ office pools not pool pool on green felt. Minnesota Fats.

But we’re behind the 8 Ball for sure.

One page brackets shall have gone the way of rotary phones, buggy whips and cathode ray tellys.

Some Harold Hill-ish con men done finally convinced the NCAA that, mediocrity be damned, more is better.

Even the country’s largest marching band — Bowling Green State’s which is 475 strong — doesn’t have 76 Trombones.

But the Dance floor just got more crowded with 76 now jitterbugging.

Can 110 be far behind.*

*The few of you who know 50s Broadway musicals are catching my riffs.

I went to the Cherokee Art Fair this past weekend. Was delighted that it hasn’t crept through the decades to side streets and up into the park. Like, for example, the behemoth that St. James has become.

Less is more.

Which would be better for the NCAA tournament. But that stampede is out of the barn, including all the lame horses.

The world’s now an oyster for the Auburns of hoops galaxy, who finish 12th in their league.

Were I college hoops czar, I’d have cut it back to just 64 schools. Make ’em earn an invite, like John Houseman admonished.

Interesting to me, apparently it’s not really about money to the ruling body. So I’ve read. Sure there shall be a few more drachma in the kitty. It’s about access.

Feh.

* * * * *

Apparently already a done deal is the eligibility thing.

Five seasons in five years.

Makes sense.

To commence — if enacted — after next season.

* * * * *

The nightmare is over in Lawrence.

Nightmares continue in Lexington.

Tyran Stokes is “taking his talents ” to play for Rock Chalk Jayhawk.

Which he announced ceremoniously on some national show, by unwrapping a gift box like a bride at a baby shower.

Mark Pope, loyal son, by all accounts an eminently decent bloke, has found himself without a cool seat upon which to rest.

Take the Under on the first “We Want Billy D” billboard to show on Versailles Road.

* * * * *

Another sign o’ the times is how nervous we Cardinal fans remain.

No addition to the team in, oh, four days.

C’mon, PK, get to work.

Rumors have the Cards in the mix for a HS big, another forward from HS, an Eastern Michigan TP dude, and the best distance marksman in in the land, Milan Momcilovic.

* * * * *

A tip to those who might be heading to the track this week:

Forget those stylin’ duds you bought, bundle up. Gonna be chilly.

As for me, I won’t be within zip codes of Fourth & Central, as I support local businesses.

— c d kaplan