Red Sox 9, Twins 5: Early to rise

In which the Red Sox make an ass of the Twins. | David Berding / Getty Images

They blew our doors off
‘Cause sometimes it’s pain;
It’s always crazy like that.
As we watched from our couches,
We had hope in the upside;
It may continue.
We saw as Woods Richardson threw;
Strong start, a Martin jack,
But it crashed amid a muddled third,
And we hit the sack.
First Luke erred, then Story hit one over the wall
While Early made our bats unravel.

Well, the offense wasn’t scoring
While Boston racked up hits.
This was a game many find boring,
Muted and out of our wits.

These losing games are sore just past a streak;
But wins will return as soon as this week,
We won’t wait a week.

Another zillion every inning,
Scoreboard keeps going up
And lighting much to often.
Sim and Banda both got rocked,
While the lineup couldn’t pop off;
Kreidler homered, but win? No,
And we clumsily walk to the car.

‘Cause they’re losing,
Guess I should name a Comment of the Game:
Let’s go with Joel’s beg for recs,*
Let’s go with passing him blame.**

These losing games are very sore, they’re very sore,
They’re scarily very sore.
But wins will return; we’ll pick up some more
And once again score.

They blew our doors off
‘Cause sometimes it’s pain;
It’s always crazy like that.

*honorable mention to Uncle Lincoln and this understanding of execution methods
**alternately, blame me for misspelling Ryan Kreidler’s name in the lineup graphic