The 2026 NFL Draft All-Name Team

Quarterback **Grayson Loftis**, Charlotte – Pocket passer who puts a lot of air under the ball on deep throws Running Back **Le’Veon Moss**, Texas A&M – I don’t see how you can go wrong with this particular combination at an offensive skill position. Just hope he doesn’t hold out for a contract extension. **Savion Red**, Sacramento State – Could be good value to pick up after the draft, at Liquor Barn. Fullback **Mareyohn Hrabowski**, Western Michigan – I have never met anyone named Mareyohn.  How about you? This gets extra style points for the easily pronounced ‘Hr’ combination to start the last name. And of course, anything with a ‘zcy’, ‘cz’ or ending in -owski is going to be a good fullback name. Tight End **Dakota Twitty**, Virginia – If football doesn’t work out, there is a career ahead of him in country music. Wide Receiver **Germie Bernard**, Alabama – Great receiver and occasional rushing weapon, just remeber to mask up and wipe down in the locker room. **Jacob de Jesus**, California – With Noah Brown gone, Jayden Daniels needs a new Hail Mary target. **Squirrel White**, Florida State (Slot) – Who guessed that Squirrel is a 5’9”, 177lb speedy slot receiver/return specialist? Great name, but not a great receiver.  Squirrel turned up as the low outlier in the Catch Rate Over Expectation analysis for my wide receivers roundup, early in the draft season. I suppose it’s not too surprising that he struggles to catch the ball with those tiny paws and no opposable thumbs. Offensive Tackle **Dametrious Crownover**, Texas A&M – A big name for a big man to protect the QB’s blind side. **Isaiah World**, Oregon – An even bigger name at swing tackle **Reuben Fatheree II**, Texas A&M – Dametrious’ book end is the paternal type. **Fa’alili Fa’amoe**, Wake Forest – This name has an infectious rhythm to it. Repeat it a few times and you’ll see what I mean. Also, I’m a sucker for Polynesian names with multiple apostrophes between vowels. And you can never have enough islanders in the trenches. Guard **J.P. Benzschawel**, Wisconsin – Five consonants in a row just roll off the tongue. **Joseph Immediato**, UTEP – Great burst off the line, reaches his landmarks at the second level very quickly Center **Jake Slaughter**, Florida – Defensive tackles will think twice before shooting the A-gap.

Edge **Popeye Williams**, Western Michigan – Hits OTs with heavy hands and forearms, strong to the finish **Quintayvious Hutchins**, Boston College – This year’s winner in the Alternative Neo-Classical category **Demon Clowney**, South Carolina – Just run Interior Defensive Line **Dontay Corleone**, Cincinnati – Dontay goes by the name Don, and nickname The Godfather.  Blockers need to remember that anything which happens after the ball is snapped is just business. Pairs well with the linebacker the Commanders might draft in the first round (see Linebackers section) **Tywone Malone**, Ohio State – Rhyming names are always fun.  Except it’s pronounced TIE-whan, according to the Ohio State football website.  Even so, it has a ring to it. **Skyler Gill-Howard**, Texas Tech – SGH is an undersized gap shooter who had a Top 30 visit with the Commanders. Is it just me, or does anyone else over the age of 55 get his name confused with “The Revolution Will Not Be Televised” singer, Gil Scott-Heron? If the Commanders draft him, that’s what I’ll end up calling him. Cornerback LCB **Hezekiah Masses**, California RCB **Ephesians Prysock**, Washington Both of these players are actually on my board for the Commanders on Day 3. They are athletic corners who flash great coverage skills, with upside to develop. My main concern with these two is whether they will be available to play on the Sabbath. Slot **Boogie Trotter**, Marshall Thundering Herd – Neither boundary CB is allowed to dance, so we need Boogie to balance out the CB room.  As an added bonus, he played for one of the best named programs in college football. Backup Slot **Al’Zillion Hamilton**, Fresno State – You don’t even need to see Al’ play to know that he is destined for stardom. Linebacker This is a deep linebacker class for the All-Name Team.  I tried my best to pare it down to three, but there were too many quality options to pass up.  In keeping with BNA philosophy, the GM needs to load up on these guys when the name talent is available. **“Sonny” Styles**, Ohio State – Sonny is not a particulaly remarkable name.  The fun part is the story of how the young Alex Styles acquired the nickname Sonny.  According to his mother, Laverna Styles: “He had such a hot temper, so we named him after Sonny from ‘The Godfather’ because when him and little Lorenzo  [his brother and fellow NFL draft prospect] would get into an argument, he would get so mad,” Laverna shared. “He could go from zero to 10 in the blink of an eye, so his nickname became Sonny.” Tight ends and running backs had better think twice about that before working his territory. **Wade Woodaz**, Clemson – It would be perfect if Wade was an old school MLB, who lays the lumber.  But maybe it’s even better that he’s a lighter, speedy WILL, with fluid movement skills who needs to play a little tougher at the next level.  Either way, if a linebacker named Woodaz is available, you have to draft him. **Mister Williams**, San Diego State – If he makes it in the league, the comic potential of commentators calling his plays will be worth a late round pick. Also, I’m confused on the etiquette for addressing him in a formal setting. If you address him as Mr, is that being too informal? **Mitchell Gonser**, Buffalo – Not every prospect will make it in the NFL. **Scooby Williams**, Texas A&M – Scooby profiles as a roster fringe WILL linebacker. Sadly, he does not appear to be related to the edge rusher from Western Michigan.  But how cool would it be to have Scooby and Popeye on the same team? **Red Murdoch**, Buffalo – Just a perfect football name. If not linebacker, he could be a character in a John Wayne movie. **Antavious Fish**, Sam Houston – Masterpiece Safety **Zakee Wheatley**, Penn State – My first reaction was, “Who names their kid Zakee?” I looked it up. Turns out, it was Zakee Wheatley Sr. **Kapena Gushiken**, Ole Miss – Sounds like a character in a street fighter video game. You don’t often see NFL players with Japanese surnames. Kapena is Hawaiian with Japanese ancestry. **Genesis Smith**, Arizona – another perfect fit for the All-Name Team’s Old Testament secondary **Tucker Large**, Washington State – I’ll just leave this one for the comment section.

K **Trey Smack**, Florida – Strong leg, hits the ball with force P – This one ended in a tie between two very deserving finalists. I’ll leave it to the comments to decide the winner: