Blue Jays 7, Twins 3: Kazuma Okamoto OWNS SWR

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A soft single to Bell; he comes home with it, and he’s WAY off. Varsho scores and the ball goes out of play, so Sosa is awarded home plate, too. I’m reasonably confident that this is a throw I could have made better. However if I were to do it 100 times and Bell 100 times, he would screw up once or twice and I’d probably screw up 25 times**.**

Twins hitters; eight pitches, two strikeouts, one popup. It’s not IDEAL. Blue Jays 2-0

3: Six pitches and three outs for Simeon Woods-Richardson. None are strikeouts, so there’s some luck in play, but we’ll take it. Or I will. You can choose not to take it, if you so choose. Or you are Twisted Sister.

A Brooks Lee single, James Outman doing what his name indicates, and Buxton does his Lord Byron thing. We’re tied 2-2

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4: And now we are untied. Kazuma Okamoto, an 11-year veteran of Japanese baseball, is hitting .125 on the season (his first in MLB) but leads the Jays in homers with five; now make it six. Then a Sosa double and Yohendrick Pinango single (you bet I CTRL-C, CTRL-Ved that name); Bux apologizes to Toronto for his homer by airmailing the throw to the infield, and Pinango reaches second. Then a flyout and a HBP. Geez, SWR… a grounder to short ends the damage.

Luke Keaschall uses the theme from Rocky as his walkup music. That movie is about a boxer in Philadelphia. Keaschall is a baseball player from California playing in Minnesota. Anyways, Kris Atteberry on radio says it’s the only walkup song he knows. Keaschall walks and the next guy flies out to end the inning, but I’m curious; what ARE all the Twins’ walkup songs?

Here’s the list. Now, I don’t know a lot of the newer music, either. But, “Thunderstruck” by AC/DC (Kody Funderburk)? Fleetwood Mac’s “The Chain” (Taylor Rogers), Led Zeppelin’s “Immigrant Song” (Bailey Ober), “It’s Only Rock and Roll” by the Stones (Joe Ryan)? How can someone not know at least one of those songs? OK, maybe Atteberry just means BATTER walk-up songs… but nope, that’s a fail too, Buxton uses Bob Marley’s “Jammin’.” How can you go to college and not learn “Jammin’?” Somebody get Atteberry to a dealer immediately and hook him up with some Marley! I mean a MUSIC dealer. Jays 4-2

5: Okamoto does it again, off a splitter just on the corner, and with Vlad (The Inhaler) Guerrero Jr. on base, so this is now a Difficult Lead For The Twins To Catch Up To. A Sosa single and Pinango infield single and SWR is cooked. Rogers finishes the inning; I did not hear any Fleetwood Mac on the radio.

Hit Machine James Outman with the one-out single. Buxton hits one a long way, but rookie Pinango takes a nice quick route to catch it. The Twins waste the Mighty Slugging of the Outman, Toronto 6-2

6: Catcher Tyler Heineman, whose name sounds like he should be shilling skunky Dutch beer, leads off with a bloop single. He advances on a one-out FC and as Vlad, Son of Vlad, enters, so does Mr. Rogers leave the neighborhood. Eric Orze records the out.

Bell has a one-out hit at Caratini advances him via HBP; this bounces Patrick Corbin, with Braydon Fisher coming in. Fisher sinks the Twins.

7: Eric Orze still pitching; here is his official picture:

Okamoto takes a walk, and on a grounder to short, Brooks Lee doesn’t see how quickly Luke Keaschall got to the bag, so he throws it to first instead. Atteberry says “let’s hope that doesn’t come back to haunt the Twins.” It does on a two-out Pinango single; the two “rookies” are killin’ us.

Incidentally, Dan Gladden on radio talking about how Japanese hitters see a lot of a “shuuto” pitch, a kind of pitch that breaks down and in to right-handers. I didn’t know Gladden played in Japan! He did, just like Tom Selleck in Mr. Baseball! One season for the Yomiuri Giants of Tokyo. (Same team Okamoto played for, BTW.)

With Jeff Hoffman (no relation to Trevor) pitching, the Twins get two infield singles from Lee and Buxton. An Austin Martin single brings Jeffers to the plate with the bases full. He sac flies to left-center. And Bell grounds out to end the Little Rally That Couldn’t, Not The Expos 7-3

8: Pasta Power is still in there and saving some of the other bullpen arms. This would be great if the other bullpen arms were good.

It’s THEIR Rogers, Tyler, in to pitch. He handles the Twins just fine. I dunno if he uses Fleetwood Mac walkup music or not. He could go with “Gold Dust Woman,” cause he makes you cry, makes you break down. Or “Tusk” just to make opponents’ ears bleed from those terrible horns.

9: Now pitching for the Twins is Luis García; WHO? A 39-year-old righty with a career ERA of 4.13, although last year he was not very good. The Mets cut him in April and the Twins signed him a week later, since last year they traded away all their good relievers. He does fine.

One of those good relievers was Louis Varland from St. Paul, MN. Atteberry tells a story about being on the Twins caravan with Varland and Varland critiquing the drywall in a restaurant, since that’s his family’s line of business. This game feels like drywall. Two outs brings us a Buxton walk and a Austin Martin infield single. Jeffers strikes out. Varland throws 27 pitches but the Twins lose

Studs: Okamoto, Pinango, Bux for bomba. Duds: Bell for bad throw, SWR for bad pitching, Royce Lewis for sadly being a shell of his former self right now.

COTG go to sandwiches with “I feel like switching out bullpen pitchers is like switching out which cactus I am forced to sit on when I’m interrogated by the government for appreciating certain aspects of life.” And norff with a little poem:

Born too late to explore the earth
Born too early to explore the cosmos
Born just in time to watch Byron Buxton play baseball

Nice! Also, I have been using blogging software for 13 years and I finally figured out how to do single instead of double spacing in WordPress. Oh well I had to learn something eventually. Thanks to everyone who participated in the thread.

Tomorrow’s game is at 1:10 Central, and features Toronto starter Dylan Cease against rookie Connor Prelipp. Catch ya next time!