The Vibes-Only Guide returns for the PGA Championship 2026, highlighting the top 41 contenders based on gut instinct rather than statistics. This guide has a track record of picking winners, including Rory McIlroy and Scottie Scheffler in previous tournaments.
Welcome back to the franchise that is FEARED and LOATHED by the rest of the gambling world. While they're poring over their precious odds and offering their uncertain picks, the Vibes-Only Guide just keeps picking winners at a 100-percent clip with pure gut instinct. Here's the updated rundown of our wins:
Masters 2025: Successfully picked Rory (at No. 41) PGA Championship 2025: Successfully picked Scottie Scheffler (at No. 1!!) U.S. Open 2025: Forgot to do one, would've definitely had Spaun at No. 1 Open Championship 2025: Successfully picked Scottie again (at No. 4) Masters 2026: Successfully picked Rory again (No. 29)
MORE: PGA Championship power rankings for Aronimink
The math nerds are sputtering, "but, but, but … it can't be possible! Nobody's that good!" Well, pal, somewhere deep in the 95th tab of your spreadsheet you forgot about the oldest oddsmaker in the books: the human gut. We're back for the PGA Championship, and what follows is a list of the vibe kings making their way to Aronimink for the year's second major. We ranks 'em as we sees 'em, and we don't let stats or facts get in the way. Strap in and bet your entire house and family that the man liftin' the Wanny* will be among the 41 players that follow.
*New slang for the Wanamaker Trophy, likely to be a hit with the youth
RELATED: Analyzing the data from Aronimink's hosting of past tour events
41. Scottie Scheffler
Good Vibes: The best player in the world, by a fair margin, from Friday to Sunday.
They're still playing golf on Thursdays. I blame Monahan.
The top contenders include 41 players ranked based on gut instinct, with notable mentions like Rory McIlroy and Scottie Scheffler.
The Vibes-Only Guide is a unique approach to predicting winners based on intuition rather than statistical analysis.
The guide has successfully picked winners at a 100-percent clip in previous major tournaments, including the Masters and PGA Championship.
The Wanamaker Trophy is awarded to the winner of the PGA Championship, symbolizing excellence in professional golf.
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Does he have more than a snowball's chance in hell?: No, but I'd bet anything on him finishing second with a Sunday 65. I'd also bet anything on him cutting a lock of hair from a reporter who asks a dumb question, performing some kind of Santeria voodoo ritual, then chuckling to let everyone know it was just a joke.
40. Jon Rahm
Good Vibes: After a long and stubborn battle, he's come to terms with the DPWT and can now play in the 2027 Ryder Cup again, which means Europe will now beat the Americans 24-4 at Adare Manor instead of 23½-4½.
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Eurasia Sport Images
Bad Vibes: He recently said he's signed with LIV for "several years," and while the overwhelming likelihood is that LIV either folds or voids his contract because they can't afford him, there's still that slim chance that he has to keep playing on Ghost LIV with scrubs and has-beens through 2029. That would make for an incredible sports comedy movie, as long as it doesn't end with Rahm jumping off a bridge.
Does he have more than a snowball's chance in hell?: Look, I'm three more LIV-less majors away from stating publicly that none of these guys can win past their first year on LIV, when they still haven't totally forgotten their competitive instincts. He has no prayer.
39. Joaquin Niemann
Good Vibes: Totally free from the pressure of expectation. I barely remembered to include him on this list!
Bad Vibes: You know that feeling when you're young, and you punt away years of your career by joining a breakaway league that can pay you a ton of money but will sap your competitive instincts and pour boiling water on your superstar potential, to the point that when Augusta didn't invite you this year, it wasn't even a big story, and now you're not even playing that well on the breakaway tour where you should be thriving? You know that feeling? Joaquin Niemann does.
Does he have more than a snowball's chance in hell?: In non-LIV events, he's missed six of his last eight cuts, and only two of those were majors. Donezo.
38. Bryson DeChambeau
Good Vibes: Historically popular among 9-year-old sons of insurance executives in Alabama who will instantly click a YouTube thumbnail where Bryson gapes with his mouth open over text that reads, "Can this INTELLIGENT DONKEY beat me in a CHIPPING CONTEST?"
Bad Vibes: In his eyes, you can read the tragedy of the Internet Age—the shallow dopamine sparks fading too quickly in the swamp of spiritual rot that festers in unfulfilled souls. He is each one of us who has fallen into the digital quagmire, who ignores the birdsong, the sunlight, the pleas of a loved one, for the ephemeral dopamine hits of a screen. Is it any surprise that we recoil at the mirror? You detest Bryson, you say? My God, man, you are Bryson!
Does he have more than a snowball's chance in hell?: Nahhhh.
37. Sepp Straka
Good Vibes: Still the first and only "good ol’ boy" from Austria. You want beef jerky, hunting, and stoic masculinity? Sepp's got you. You want strudel, lederhosen, and high-strung punctuality? Sepp's got you. (He's also bagged a couple recent top-10s, including at Doral.)
Bad Vibes: Despite being a consistent top-15 player for almost two years, with four cuts and zero top-10s in his last nine tries dating back to the 2024 Masters. It's one of the weirdest stats in major golf, and for our purposes I'm calling it "Straka Syndrome." Is it flukey, or his he just not good with that extra pressure? Burden of proof's on you, Herr Straka.
Does he have more than a snowball's chance in hell?: He has an Austrian snowball's chance in Georgia, mid-July-ish.
36. Jake Knapp
Good Vibes: I can't tell if he has a good personality or even any personality, but his hair has personality, and frankly, with a lot of these young guys we'll take what we can get. Also, a bunch of top-10s this year!
Bad Vibes: Tanked it pretty hard in his last event at the Heritage, then withdrew from two straight signature events with a thumb injury. It's not even clear he's going to play this weekend, and if he does, he probably won't be sharp.
Do they have more than a snowball's chance in hell?: If he ends up playing, his chances are almost nil. If he ends up withdrawing, even worse.
TUESDAY MORNING UPDATE: Even worse.
35. The "Man"-osphere
Good Vibes: With five players in this group—Austin Smotherman, Max Greyserman, Brian Harman, Jacob Bridgeman, and PGA pro Timothy Wiseman—there's five times the chance to win. What a deal! One of them, Bridgeman, is even a world top-20 player with a PGA Tour win this year, while another, Harman, won a major not too long ago. Plus, history shows us that a man has won all 107 previous editions of the PGA Championship.
Bad Vibes: When I say a "man" has won the last 107 PGAs, I mean a human male, not necessarily someone whose last name ends with the letters m-a-n. This could prove to be a crucial distinction.
Do they have more than a snowball's chance in hell?: If they can work together, absolutely. Unfortunately, I'm getting word that the PGA Championship is an individual stroke-play event, and that—(checks earpiece)—I'm going to have to abandon this bit.
34. Wyndham Clark
Good Vibes: Several near-top-10s this year! And by several, I mean two.
Bad Vibes: If you're a guy like Cameron Young, Clark is basically the worst-case scenario for what your future could look like, where your elite talent leaves you and you become known for kicking in a locker instead of winning tournaments. Even his whole meditation/therapeutic thing has fallen away. He's also, in many ways, the worst-case scenario for the LIV era, where you don't get the Saudi money, but give off serious "I'm bitter that I missed out" vibes anytime the subject of returning players comes up.
Does he have more than a snowball's chance in hell?: No. There's an elite golfer still there somewhere, but we're not seeing it.
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33. Adam Scott
Good Vibes: Still a handsome devil at 45, loved and respected by all. Intelligent, considerate, and a great role model. He makes me sick.
Bad Vibes: Not many, but Wikipedia lists "The Big Queenslander" as one of his nicknames. That's terrible even before you consider that he lived the first nine years of his life in a different state. What's the opposite of "rolls off the tongue"? Something like, "sticks to the tongue like wet paste"? He should disavow and sue Wikipedia.
Does he have a snowball's chance in hell?: I can't get myself there, much as I'd like to. I just want him to get one more PGA Tour win so he can ride off into the sunset, and the rest of us can wipe a single tear from our eyes and whisper, "there goes the Big Queenslander."
32. Min Woo Lee
Good Vibes: Did you know that Wikipedia lists obscure nicknames for famous people, like "Dr. Chipinski" for Lee. That's a stupid nickname, but in a good way. However, I can't help but notice that between "Dr. Chipinski" and "Chef," Min Woo is really co-opting other people's jobs for his nicknames. This is a dangerous trajectory—how long before he's doing stolen valor and calling himself "the war veteran" or something?
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David Cannon
Bad Vibes: Currently rocking a streak of four straight missed cuts at majors, though he's been very solid on tour this year. Feels like he's stuck in the also-ran zone, career-wise.
Does he have a snowball's chance in hell?: [Australianly] Norrr whayyy mate, Doc Chipinsky's deadset buggered. He's gonna hit his brolly into a billabong, the bludgin' bogan.
31. Shane Lowry
Good Vibes: Lowry seems like the kind of guy who is going to be happy for the rest of his life now that he hit the winning Ryder Cup putt, and that's despite owning one of golf's grumpiest dispositions. Folks, happiness is the ultimate good vibe.
Bad Vibes: As I wrote last time, had the chance to complete a Tiger Slam of saying "f*** this place" at consecutive major venues after saying those exact words last year at Quail Hollow, Oakmont, and Portrush. But he didn't have the courage to do it at Augusta, so we can't call him one of the all-time course-cursing greats just yet. Aside from all that, he's been looking a little choke-y out there. We talk about the golf gods a lot, but I wonder if he made a deal with the golf devil at Bethpage.
Does he have a snowball's chance in hell?: Nope. Nothing about his mental or physical game is elite right now.
30. A Danish fellow, of some sort
Good Vibes: The Danish golf surge has been truly impressive, to the point that I know more names than just "Hojgaard," and have become familiar with people called Jacob Skav Olesen and Nanna Koerstz Madsen. Neither are in this tournament, and one is a woman, but we do have the mischievous Hojgaard twins and their wacky sidekick, Rasmus Neergaard-Petersen. You just know they're going to get up to some hijinx!
Bad Vibes: None of them have had a real breakthrough win in America, and we're still Dane-less in the history of major championships … unless you count Sweyn Forkbeard's conquest of England in 1013 as the first British Open. Which I do.
Do they have a snowball's chance in hell?: With zero major top-10s between all three, I'm afraid the answer is "Nej."
29. Maverick McNealy
Good Vibes: I don't know, man. Do I have to pretend to have an opinion here?
Bad Vibes: I really don't know. Just leave me alone.
Does he have a snowball's chance in hell?: No. Stop it. Stop this. I have to do 41 of these $#@%ing things and there's only so much faking it I can do.
28. Rickie Fowler
Good Vibes: He's still Rickie Fowler, the easygoing orange man, and he almost just won at Quail. I'm trying to decide if I have the energy in my heart for a second emotionally taxing comeback narrative based on mid-2010s nostalgia. Has Spieth ruined us for all others?
Bad Vibes: Terrible thought: Do kids today like Bryson more than Rickie?? That might be the thing in modern life that finally breaks me.
Does he have a snowball's chance in hell?: I want to live in a world where Rickie is going to make at least one more serious run at a major (even though his play at LACC on Sunday was kind of a sad bummer I'm not eager to re-live), but I also don't think we live in that world.
27. Gary Woodland
Good Vibes: Absolutely mind-blowing comeback both because he recovered from brain surgery and because he's dealing with constant on-course fear due to the PTSD effects. To win under those conditions is about as impressive as it gets. And I would know—I once won a local spelling bee in eighth grade with a minor stomachache.
Bad Vibes: You actually think I'm going to write something negative here about the feel-good story of the year? Mama didn't raise a fool.
Does he have more than a snowball's chance in hell?: He's playing fine, which I realize is tepid praise for a guy who just won a tour event, but he's not reading right now as a guy with the tools to win a major.
26. Tyrrell Hatton
Good Vibes: I'm separating him out from the other LIV guys because every once in a while, like last year at Oakmont and this year at Augusta, he has stretches where he plays under pressure like he hasn't forgotten how to do so. He also belongs to that category of guys like Koepka who are going to come out of the LIV debacle with their reputations intact, because of their demeanor and natural likability, while the Rahms and Brysons of the world just keeping getting slugged.
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Maddie Meyer
Bad Vibes: With age, he looks increasingly like an English soldier from a movie about medieval times who gets killed when the enemy dumps a pot of burning oil on his head.
Does he have more than a snowball's chance in hell?: His game is definitely there, or at least close to there, but I still doubt he has the closing kick you need to actually beat the Schefflers and Youngs and Fitzpatricks when it's all on the line.
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25. Harris English
Good Vibes: He's a pretty OK guy.
Bad Vibes: Definitely has the most "journeyman" vibes of a player who is definitely better than a journeyman. In the same way that someone making $500,000 a year is way closer to poverty than he is to being a billionaire, English is spiritually closer to Briny Baird than he is to Rory McIlroy.
Does he have a snowball's chance in hell?: Here's a wild stat: To start 2026, he had six straight starts finishing between 20th and 29th. That feels on brand, just like it was on brand that he had to miss a Ryder Cup singles match because of a weird rule. I think the answer here is "probably not."
24. Ben Griffin
Good Vibes: For a very normal-looking man, he pulls off the cop shades surprisingly well.
Bad Vibes: His foundational story is that he worked as a mortgage loan officer before he found success as a pro, but when Digest quizzed him on some terms, he didn't know what APR meant. How??? Get an investigative journalist on this man, stat.
Does he have a snowball's chance in hell?: Vaguely, but only barely vaguely. Just slightly on the barest side of maybe vaguely.
23. Michael Block
Good Vibes: I realized I had Harris English on here twice in my initial list, and I thought this would be the funniest person to substitute while putting in no effort in to find a better fit.
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David Cannon
Bad Vibes: If he does his "aw shucks, who me?" routine at any point, I'm going to throw my laptop at a passerby. If he spins around while doing it, I'll throw the laptop at myself.
Does he have a snowball's chance in hell?: No, but he's going to make an albatross off the Goodyear blimp and get 15 tour exemptions because of it.
22. Hideki Matsuyama
Good Vibes: I truly know nothing about this man off the golf course.
Bad Vibes: I felt bad that I didn't know more about him, like I wasn't trying hard enough due to the language barrier, and then I read this banger of a line about him in a piece by Stephen Hennessey: "Even among the Japanese golf media—who follow his every move—the common refrain is that though Hideki doesn’t speak much English, he speaks even less Japanese." I'm exonerated!
Does he have a snowball's chance in hell?: He's a bit ragged this year other than a second at the Phoenix Open, so I'm going with no.
21. Harris English
Good Vibes: Oh #%*&, I have Harris English a third time??? I should fix this, but what am I supposed to do, sub in someone obscure that nobody knows, like "Jordan Gumberg" or "Keegan Bradley"?
Bad Vibes: No player has ever won a major when listed twice on the Vibes countdown.
Does he have a snowball's chance in hell?: Yes. A slightly better chance than the Harris English ranked No. 25, and way better than the Harris English that became Michael Block.
20. Kurt Kitayama
Good Vibes: Did you know Kurt Kitayama can ball? As in, basketball? He was a very good point guard at a massive high school in California, even though he's 5-foot-6 and had to be spending a ton of time playing junior golf. Whenever I hear a story like that, I think, this guy must be one of the world's greatest athletes, pound for pound. Also, did you know he's somehow 20th in driving distance this year? For comparison's sake, Brian Harman is an inch taller than him and sits 146th in that category. If Kitayama was 6-2 he'd be the Bo Jackson of basketball and golf.
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Jared C. Tilton
Bad Vibes: The following text appears in his PGA Tour bio page: Would trade places with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson for a day because "he is a very successful man and an incredibly hard worker." Oof. Nothing against The Rock, but dream bigger, buddy. Trade places with Trump and learn about the aliens, at least.
Does he have a snowball's chance in hell?: Kinda! The guy keeps finishing very high in signature events, and he's definitely the best pick among the group of "people that absolutely no one will pick."
19. Ludvig Aberg
Good Vibes: Cool and serene as the Swedish fjords, if indeed Sweden has fjords. It is impossible to know, as it's a remote, mysterious place, as cryptic as the Swedish fjords themselves, if indeed Sweden has fjords.
Bad Vibes: Here's a question: Is it better to be like Ludvig and have chances to win big events but stumble down the stretch very publicly, or to be like Sepp Straka and just eject before you even have a chance? I think the answer is you want to be like Ludvig and feel that juice, even if you blow it, but also there are a billion people talking about Ludvig's collapse at the Players and a few subsequent tough Sundays, and I'm probably the only guy in the world talking about Sepp. You pay a price for being almost great!
Do they have a snowball's chance in hell?: Yes, he does, and on the merits of his golf game he really does. He's not quite Fitzpatrick, Scheffler or Young in 2026, but he's not far down the list. But can this remote icy Swedish fjord-man take the heat??
18. A Norwegian fellow, of some sort
Good Vibes: Once you commit to the bit of grouping the Nordic peoples together, you can't abandon it even when one of them wins the signature event the Sunday before the PGA starts. Reitan had emerged as a legitimate force on tour in the last couple months even before his win and might be seen as the better bet of the two Norsemen, but Viktor has a strange way of showing up for PGA Championships. And unlike Sweden, where the fjord question remains very much up in the air, these men definitely hail from a nation of fjords.
Bad Vibes: Norway is pretty much all coastline, which means that everyone in the country is a coastal elite.
Do they have more than a snowball's chance in hell?: I don't think either one has the psychological constitution to get there quite yet; Reitan because he's new and just won and it's super hard to go back-to-back at a major, Viktor because of some almost indefinable offness that persists. Karl Ove Knausgaard taught me there are unseen depths to the Norwegian psyche, and Hovland is paddling around the mental murk right now.
17. J.J. Spaun
Good Vibes: Can I just say, great job by him going by "J.J." instead of his first name and last name, which would be "John Spaun." Notably, his father is also named John Spaun, which means he is John Spaun, spawn of John (Spaun).
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Dylan Buell
Bad Vibes: Last time, I said there were no bad vibes, but I just learned via Wikipedia that "while he lived in San Dimas, Calif., Spaun was a five-year season-pass holder at Disneyland." This was before he had kids, which means Spaun is a certified Disney Adult. Take away his U.S. Open and throw him in jail.
Does he have a snowball's chance in hell?: Yes, but I'd like to keep focusing on his Wikipedia page, which is top tier. Here's another very real excerpt: "When he was five years old, Spaun was hit by a car while skateboarding, but suffered only minor injuries. He later told his father he wanted to be a professional skateboarder, to which his father replied: "No."
16. Russell Henley
Good Vibes: He's the kind of golfer who is easy to underestimate, but just never goes away and keeps getting better, to the point that at 37 he's now a fixture in the OWGR top 10. If I had to compare him to a bird, he's like a crow—so common that you underestimate its brainy survival skills.
Bad Vibes: The Ryder Cup was more of a total disaster for Henley than anyone not named Keegan Bradley—he lost twice with Scheffler and then had to watch Lowry hit the Cup-clinching putt. And while large parts of it weren't his fault, it was very much a nightmarish weekend that should have been the capstone of a long career. If I had to compare his Ryder Cup to a bird, it would be a pigeon that gets hit by a tractor.
Does he have a snowball's chance in hell?: Kind of. The over/under on Henley majors is obviously 0.5, but for the over to hit, it will have to be an almost perfect weekend. If I had to compare the chances to a bird, I'd probably take a deep breath and say, "You know what? We're not doing the bird thing anymore."
15. Kim-n-Im
Good Vibes: Did I do this category because "Kim 'n Im" sounds like a South Korean golf parody of "Eminem"? Yes.
Bad Vibes: Their major performances tend to be less toward the "losing yourself in the music, the moment" side of the spectrum, and more toward the "vomiting mom's spaghetti" side.
Do they have a snowball's chance in hell?: You know, I can talk myself into one of these guys breaking through, and—(checks Wikipedia majors grid for both guys)—SNAP! BACK TO REALITY, OPE, THERE GOES GRAVITY, OPE—
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14. Patrick Cantlay
Good Vibes: There's a kind of artistry in how little he cares about giving off any kind of good vibe, ever.
Bad Vibes: Private equity finds him a little cold.
Does he have a snowball's chance in hell?: He does, and he's been inside the top 15 the last four events, but he also has a moderate case of Straka Syndrome, where he's not as good as he should be at majors, so I can't fully recommend him.
13. Akshay Bhatia
Good Vibes: I think he's very clutch and is just so new in his career that nobody notices yet. I'm basing this almost entirely off the fact that he's won all three of his PGA Tour events in a playoff, which—trust me–is statistically sound.
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Octavio Passos
Bad Vibes: Like a boat adrift on a storm-tossed lake, to the naked eye it's impossible to tell if there's any anchoring happening with this guy. (This is the point in the Vibes Guide where bad similes happen.)
Does he have a snowball's chance in hell?: He's got to contend in a major soon, right? Like a religious heart surgeon who is at his best after going to church on Christmas or Easter, I want to see this man operate on a major Sunday. (I warned you.)
12. Robert MacIntyre
Good Vibes: Would sell a million copies of an ASMR sleep audio series where he discusses the intricacies of the golf swing in that soft, whispery, almost seductive brogue.
Bad Vibes: I feel strange after having written that previous sentence.
Does he have a snowball's chance in hell?: I don't want to talk about Robert MacIntyre anymore. I would like to move on. I would like to move on.
11. Brooks Koepka
Good Vibes: Managed to get back on the PGA Tour the minute he wanted to, and all he had to do was pay a fine and change his main email address to "RolappIsMyDaddy@hotmail.com."
Bad Vibes: At last check, can't beat Brandt Snedeker.
Does he have a snowball's chance in hell?: Sure, but only if you believe that he still has the ability to transcend his normal tour play at majors, particularly the PGA, and become a man who doesn't resemble that former self. I think I kinda do?
10. Patrick Reed
Good Vibes: All of them, inclusive.
Bad Vibes: None of them, ever.
Does he have more than a snowball's chance in hell?: Yes, although I was sort of surprised at his Saturday fade in Augusta when it felt like momentum was there for him to seize. He's been very good on the DPWT, and has a winner's constitution, so it feels like the big limitation is just whatever re-learning he has to do when he's in major contention.
9. Tommy Fleetwood
Good Vibes: He remains the beloved long-haired baby-faced British hero, despite doing his best to throw it away by becoming a spokesperson for the corporate manifestation of the worst landlord you've ever had.
Bad Vibes: I'm starting to believe his Tour Championship win, marketed as a breakthrough, only happened because of the small field and a perfectly timed heater, and that he's basically the same guy he's always been when it comes to real Sunday pressure. That's right, folks: Tommy hatin' is back in!
Does he have a snowball's chance in hell?: Skill-wise, sure, but my heart does not believe.
8. Chris Gotterup
Good Vibes: Murders a golf ball, has the winning edge, one of only three two-time winners on tour this year, remains hot at the siggies.
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Mike Mulholland
Bad Vibes: Last name lends itself too easily to raunchy puns. There are children watching these events.
Does he have a snowball's chance in hell?: Oh yeah, and on top of everything else, he gives off Koepka vibes where his game is going to translate especially well to majors.
7. Collin Morikawa/Xander Schauffele/Justin Thomas
Good Vibes: All three can win majors, all three seem to be on the comeback trail, and each possesses a distinct kind of SoCal energy, from Schauffele's cocky beach-side San Diego swagger to Morikawa's ambitious L.A. hotshot glamor to Thomas' "actually, I'm from Kentucky."
Bad Vibes: All three stunk it up in their last signature event thanks to the dark side of that SoCal energy, from Schauffele's idle Coronado beach bum shiftlessness to Morikawa's panic-stricken over-achiever Santa Monica Freeway meltdown to Thomas' "hey I actually played well in my last two signature events, and also, I'm from Kentucky. Stop saying I'm from California."
Do they have a snowball's chance in hell?: All three can win if they tap into their strongest California vibes, from Schauffele's—
(Gets knocked unconscious by Justin Thomas)
6. Stewart Cink
Good Vibes: Oh hell yes, I'm serious. Check the scoreboard: More major wins this year than any other player. Latest man to stomp Colin Montgomerie on a major Sunday.
Bad Vibes: Keeps getting the shaft on the Ryder Cup captaincy. If the choice for captain came down to Cink and David Berkowitz, the "Son of Sam" serial killer currently serving life in prison, you get the feeling the PGA of America would at least check Berkowitz's parole status.
Does he have a snowball's chance in hell?: You will all scoff at me for putting him this high on the list, but this is the athletic age of old men, when guys in their mid-40s are still winning Super Bowls, and Cink has decimated so many near-geriatrics this year that I believe winning is permanently in his (possibly varicose) veins.
5. Jordan Spieth
Good Vibes: He has assumed many disguises over the years to root out the doubting infidels and fair-weather heretics. Those of us who have seen the truth know that the years of "struggles" on the course are merely tests of our faith. Those of us who remain know his majesty in the depths our souls, and our love is magnified in these days when the ignorant wring their hands in anxiety and give voice to petty lamentation.
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Orlando Ramirez
Bad Vibes: WOE TO THE APOSTATES AND SKEPTICS WHO ABANDON HIM NOW, FOR THEY SHALL NOT KNOW THE FRUITS OF HIS GLORIOUS VICTORY!
Does he have a snowball's chance in hell?: HE SHALL WIN! IN OUR HEARTS WE HAVE SEEN HIM TRIUMPH! MAKE IT MANIFEST, JORDAN, AND STRIP THE VEIL FROM OUR EYES SO WE MAY GAZE UPON THY SPLENDOR! (Begins writhing on the floor and speaking in tongues.)
4. Justin Rose
Good Vibes: Timeless, ageless.
Bad Vibes: Timeless, ageless, but in a scary way, like he might be able to read my thoughts and force me to do embarrassing things. Like, for example, eating too many cheesesteaks on Cheesesteak Day in the media center at Aronimink. Like, a truly humiliating amount, to where a PGA of America official is forced to have a tough conversation with me. If you see or hear about this, it's Rose.
Does he have a snowball's chance in hell?: Yes, and at this point he's the best feel-good story going aside from Spieth winning the career slam. Which, considering his recent track record of near misses, probably means he'll lose to Spieth in a playoff.
3. Rory McIlroy
Good Vibes: Finally cashing in on the whole "winning the career slam will free him up to go on a tear" thing, at least at Augusta. I think his existential crisis is best summed up by the poetry of Heavy D and the Boyz: "Now that we found love, what are we going to do with it?" I think he knows what to do with love now. (Win golf tournaments.)
Bad Vibes: His relationship to a normal PGA Tour events is like a politician's relationship to the working class. He'll speak about them in glowing terms but clearly doesn't want to be anywhere near them in real life.
Does he have more than a snowball's chance in hell?: Oh yes. He took some criticism for practicing at Augusta over and over before the Masters, but wait until people find out he's spent the last month working on the grounds crew at Aronimink for minimum wage, and sneaking out after his shift to play nine holes.
(I want it on record that I wrote this joke before Rory made essentially the same one. Absolutely classless to steal my material, Rory.)
2. A Fitzpatrick, of some sort
Good Vibes: Matt won "Brother of the Year" for teaming up with Alex to help him get a 2½-year PGA Tour exemption by winning the Zurich. Things got so emotional between them after that win that they nearly broke with centuries of English tradition and showed a hint of affection for a family member. Caught themselves just in time, though.
Bad Vibes: Not a bad vibe in sight with either guy, and Matt even has the most memorable shot of the year so far on his ledger (from the bunker on 18 at the Zurich). I don't necessarily want to dip my toe into geopolitical waters, but I believe they should replace the pervert royal family with the Fitzpatricks.
Do they have more than a snowball's chance in hell?: 100 percent; 2026 is a weird year where it feels like several things should happen at majors, one of which is Matt Fitzpatrick bagging his second. All those predictions start to crumble under the reality that there are only three majors left, but I'm sticking with Fitzpatrick winning one of the next three ... he's just so completely on fire. And I'm taking the BOGO deal with Alex just in case.
1. Cameron Young
Good Vibes: Second-best golfer in the entire world by skill, but best when factoring in Scottie's weird Thursday hang-ups. Played beautifully under pressure at the Players, semi-stumbled at the Masters on Sunday but in a way that made you think he learned from it, especially after going on to crush souls at Doral.
Bad Vibes: Personality check went from the mid-2025 take of, "I think this guy's pretty boring," to the March 2026 take of, "Actually, he's quiet, but there's a lot more going on than we thought," to the current take of, "Nope, we were right the first time, he's boring."
Does he have more than a snowball's chance in hell?: Oh yes. His ball-striking is so elite right now that a top 10 feels guaranteed, and the way he putted at Doral was truly scary. If he can find anything near that level again, he's liftin' the Wanny.