Guardians 6, Twins 4: Too little, too late, too bad, too Banda

Q: What was the final score of the Guardians vs. Twins game?

The Guardians won the game against the Twins with a final score of 6-4.

Q: Who was the standout player for the Guardians in the game?

Connor Prielipp had a notable performance for the Guardians, settling in nicely after a tough first inning.

Q: How did the Twins perform offensively against the Guardians?

The Twins struggled offensively, stranding several runners and failing to convert scoring opportunities throughout the game.

Q: What were some key moments in the Guardians vs. Twins game?

Key moments included a leadoff double by Buxton for the Twins and a home run by rookie Travis Bazzana for the Guardians.

Shelton hasn’t learned the Zen of Twins Losing yet. You will, Derek, you will. (Photo by Nick Cammett/Getty Images) | Getty Images

After a bummer of a first inning, Connor Prielipp settles in nicely and the Twins bumblebat their way into an almost-comeback… until You Know What happens. Inning-by-inning notes: **1:** Cleveland with City Connects, and these have a Stoopid Number Font. Stoopid Letter Font, too, but the numbers are worse. Buxton with a leadoff double! Will the Twins move him over with nobody out? HAHAHA they would never. A pointless Martin grounder to left. Jeffers strikes out, so Bux wouldn’t have scored from third anyways, although you never know when you change the timeline. It’s up to Josh “Doesn’t Ringa” Bell, who strikes out. The Twins have stranded so many leadoff doubles, they DESERVE to finish last in all of sports. Steven Kwan leads off with that well-placed grounder no Twin has done in a decade. OK, Arraez, but he gone. Prielipp plunks the next guy, Angel Martínez. I’m sure with runners on and nobody out, Cleveland will fail like the Twins always do, it is NORMAL. José Ramírez dribbles one up the middle, Martínez bumps Luke Keaschall (or Keaschall’s arm bumps him), no runner interference called, Kwan scores and it’s ruled an E-4. sac flies Ramírez home (Wallner’s throw ). Travis Bazzana has a great name, hails from New South Wales, the P.A. system plays Men At Work’s “Down Under” and , it’s his first. See, I told you Cleveland was gonna do just like the Twins. **Guardians 4-0** **2:** Except for Buxton, everybody is swinging right through Messick’s 92 MPH outer-half fastballs. Ask John Foley why. Except he don’t like us no more. We have AppleTV for free because of our phone plan. Along with Netflix, which I haven’t watched in ages, and Hulu, which I watched when *What We Do in the Shadows* was still on. What do I like to watch on AppleTV? The 24-hour live sex shows. Aside from that, everything on Apple TV sux. A two-out walk to Kwan makes Prielipp’s pitch count now infinity. He’s locating pitches better than I could in the rain, though (it is raining, although the forecast calls for it to taper off). Martínez strikes out really badly on an inside slider; that’s what they call a “sword.” **3:** hits a ball hard right to a guy. Apple is interviewing Guardians skipper about the rain. He says his guys are used to it, the Twins are used to it, all the AL Central teams get rain. I guess we’re Special that way. One of the TV people wondering if Keaschall should have “sold” that contact with the runner in the first inning. Says, “you don’t want a flop like in the NBA.” I disagree. When Vlade Divac of the Lakers/Hornets/Kings flopped, the dude would windmill his arms and FLAIL himself backwards, all 7’1″, 260 lbs of him, baseline photographers beware. It was a thing of BEAUTY. **4:** Leadoff walk to Jeffers. This causes a rally so stirring, it interrupts the Earth’s Coriolis force. Apple is mentioning how Prieipp is from Tomah, WI, and they have a yearly Budweiser-sponsored tractor pull. Apple finds this hi-larious. I’m not crazy about that hick s\*\\\*k). COTG go to everyone who showed up for a game that only 0.001% of Twins fans have TV access to. (There will be more! Including TWO STRAIGHT FRIDAYS on 5/29 and 6/5, won’t that be FUN.) But we’ll go ahead and single out explaining Cleveland culture, Orze Appreciation, and the *Godfather III* trailer reference with “Just when I thought I was out… they pull me right back to glancing at the scoreboard every 15 minutes or so.” Tomorrow’s game features against our own at 5:10 Central. Catch ya next time!